home, and


I am putting into my wardrobe the winter stuff I have brought home from home.
Tonight I am leaving home to go home.

And I am soon going to move from ‘that’ home for good.

I am sad, since I am leaving ‘this’ home, which is home, actually, although I don’t really know how long it is going to be actually home.

And at the end of the day I don’t know myself whether I want ‘this’ to be my actual home also in the future.

And I am sad since I am going home but ‘that’ home won’t definitely be mine any longer even if I will certainly have to be commuting from home to a place once called home, where I am going to be ‘homeless’, and this is breaking my heart.

And I don’t really know where I want home to be.
And wherever it is, I will be homesick, and angry for being homesick.

This very moment, in my future former-home, someone is packing up since they are going to come back home without even knowing where home actually is.

We all are caught in an emotional whirlwind, speechless.